How Do You Express Love
I read a book some years ago called the 'Celestine Prophecy' by James Redfield. It was the first time I came across the theory of 'Control Dramas', unconscious ways of behaving that some people use to gain power or energy from another person. It's an interesting insight into why we can behave the way we do when trying to get someone's attention, normally coming from a place of fear or threat.
Now, this article isn't about control dramas, but I found the book really made me aware and highlighted, that ultimately relationships are simply exchanges of energy, how we feed into each others energy and seek relationships to fill energy gaps.
In life we all tend to be in relationships, not just romantic ones, but all type of relationships, friendships, family, work colleagues etc...where one of us tends to give more than the other. One person that will pick up the phone more often to arrange meet ups or that listens more and likes to give advice...and so on.
It's just the way things are and not a poor reflection of those that 'seem' to take more than they give. Of course, there are extremes, people that are known as energy zappers, people that give little back, but there are also people pleasers and chronic empaths who feel a responsibility to fix everything. In general we all give and receive energy in different ways and have different reasons why we behave the way we do.
In the same way that we all have different 'Love Languages', the way that we express love through our energy and actions. There are five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Each one is important and expresses love in its own way.
A functional relationship works by understanding how we exchange our energies and love languages differently, in a balanced way and where we both receive what we need.
For people whose love language is receiving gifts, presents are physical symbols of love that materially express the affection someone has for them. The gifts don’t have to be expensive, or indeed, cost anything at all but they do need to show that you care.
Have you ever received a gift and felt let down, that no effort or thought has been put into the gift, that it was just given to tick a box? Then the difference of a gift that has shown how the giver has really understood you and wants to make you smile, brighten your day.
I love giving gifts! I love seeing the joy on the recipients face, knowing that I have given them something that they will enjoy, something that shows I care. By giving gifts, I'm also receiving the energy I need from others.
Then there's Acts of Service, a language that can best be described as doing something for your loved one that you know they would like, so taking the time and energy to think about and choose a gift just for them, is a way of expressing an act of service as much as cleaning their car would be.
Words of Affirmations are the way that we verbally express our love and care. In a work relationship, it may be how we try to encourage a colleague or praise someone. Whilst Quality Time is how we spend time with a person, remaining present and engaged. Physical Touch can simply be putting our arm around someone to offer reassurance, a hug, kissing, holding hands. I often will see a couple crossing the road and the man will use his physicality to protect his partner from oncoming traffic. That's part of his love language and expressing that he cares.
One of my main love languages is definitely Acts of Service. When I created Yummy Home, I wanted to be of service, I wanted to help raise awareness about harmful pollutants and toxins in everyday products. I also wanted to help make gift giving easier and meaningful. Using ingredients that benefit wellbeing and naming the aromas with an energy of positivity.
So what's your love language and how do you express it? What's the love language of those closest to you and could you understand them differently by recognising when they are expressing love in their language? What energy do you give in relationships and what energy do you take?
Exploring and answering these questions may help improve your relationships and help you express your love differently, so the next time you're interacting in one of your relationships, have a think about the different love languages and energies that are being exchanged.
I hope you've enjoyed this read and if you need an easy gift solution, our products not only smell great, enhance wellbeing, are long lasting and enjoyable, but also show that you care about the recipients health and wellbeing.
With love...Amina x